Now, imagine being in this position, where every single time you raise a point or get this feeling, someone else always claims you are overacting, wrong, or even “over-sensitive”. It becomes quite routine, and eventually, one doubts one’s view and feels there could be a small truth behind the lies they were saying to one. This is when this person manipulates others into questioning their reality- this strategy is called gaslighting. It is a toxic behaviour that erodes self-confidence and creates an atmosphere of control.
This article discusses the concept of gaslighting, common signs to look out for, and how to respond properly when faced with this type of manipulation.
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that aims to make the person doubt his or her perception of reality. In this case, the manipulator—usually attempting to gain an advantage or avoid accountability—is subtly attacking the target’s self-belief, leaving them feeling insecure, confused, and isolated.
Gaslighting can happen between the two in a personal relationship, work, or social environment. It is widespread within abusive relationships but can easily be common in friendships, professional relations, and even within a family. Most of the time, it will lead to the same outcome: the victim doubts himself and will rely on the gas lighter for stability and validation.
Common Signs of Gaslighting
Recognising gaslighting is important because it can be subtle and deceitful sometimes. Here are some of the common symptoms:
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Constant Second-Guessing
People become victims of gaslighting, and they begin questioning their memory, choices, and abilities. Most of the time, even if they are not doing anything wrong, they think they are.
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“You’re Overreacting” or “You’re Too Sensitive”
Such phrases often make one feel that he or she is being overly sensitive or just overreacting.
The phrases used by the gas lighters always deny emotions and downplay reactions, making the victim feel his feelings are exaggerated or irrational.
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Feeling Confused and Disoriented
Gaslighting creates a mental fog in the victim, who cannot make sense of his or her thoughts and feelings. He or she may not even remember events as they occurred because the gas lighter has distorted the memory.
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Denial of Reality
The gas lighter may deny things they have said or done and say that the victim has misunderstood or imagined events. This denial makes the victim doubt his or her reality and memories.
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Isolation of the Victim from Support Networks
Gas lighters often try to isolate their victims by discrediting friends, family, or co-workers so that the victim has fewer external sources of support.
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Projection of Blame
He also makes the victim feel to blame for his/her acts or emotions as a part of a circle of guilt and self-accusation very regularly.
Why Do People Engage in Gaslighting?
This kind of act is mainly used to manipulate another person. There might be many purposes for such behaviour. All of them might have been motivated to have control over the manipulation of that person. Therefore, their reasons can include the desire to control or manipulate themselves, someone’s attention to feed their ego, or just some other reasons to manipulate people.
- Avoiding Responsibility: Blaming someone else deflects responsibility regarding their doings and behaviour.
- Poor Self-Respect and Insecurity: Manipulators, which include some types of gas lighters, often build up their low self-image by knocking down others for themselves.
- Low Compassion in Heart: Many gas lighters have no empathy feelings within themselves; therefore, it becomes easier to manipulate individuals without feeling remorseful while doing so. How To React to Gaslighting
How to Respond After Gaslighting?
This can be very hard to deal with as it often consists of emotional manipulation. Here are some ways you may want to respond that help keep your mental health a little safe and your reality real.
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Acknowledge the Problem
Step one: Realise that you’re being gaslighted. Learn that this is not your fault; you are being affected by the manipulative tactics. This acknowledgement will help you eliminate the emotional involvement with such behaviour.
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Documentation of conversations and events
You should maintain a written account of what transpired and conversations held so you can recall accurately in the event of attempts to deny or distort reality. This makes it easy to establish patterns of manipulation and prove your memory against such occurrences, thus gaining some form of empowerment against gaslighting.
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Trust Your Feelings and Perceptions
Gaslighting makes you question your thoughts and feelings. You should, however, trust your instincts. If something does not feel right or is not right, there probably is a reason. Reaffirming your perceptions and feelings can help you stay focused when the gas lighter is trying to break down your reality.
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Establish Boundaries
Clear, strong boundaries protect you from the impacts of gaslighting. A distance, physical or emotional, may separate you from your gaslighter, or there may be no discussion that you would foresee the manipulative conversation occurring. Strong boundaries are the best way to maintain a healthy mental and emotional lifestyle.
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Seek Outside Help
This manipulation can make one feel like they are all alone in the world. Being able to reach out to people who can give objective support is, therefore, vital. Friends, family, or a therapist may come in handy and give one validation, making it clear what is happening. A good support network will remind you of your worth and strength – something that comes in pretty handy while handling manipulation.
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Self-Care
Gaslighting is a hurtful thing to someone’s emotional well-being; hence, self-care must be given priority. Identify what recharges you best: exercise, meditation, journaling, or hobby. Self-care develops a sense of resilience against manipulative people.
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Seek Professional Help
If gaslighting is persistent, especially with close relationships, a good therapist or counsellor can help. A mental health expert can give tools and techniques to deal with gaslighting and rebuild self-confidence.
Rebuilding Confidence after Gaslighting
Healing from gaslighting is a process, and it can take time to rebuild the self-trust and confidence back. Here are some steps to regain your emotional strength:
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: Replace the negative self-doubt planted by the gas lighter with affirmations or positive self-talk. Let yourself know that your thoughts and emotions are valid.
- Focus on Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you recover. Gaslighting can lead to self-blame, so practice self-compassion by treating yourself with patience and understanding.
- Reconnection with Self: Do things that make you happy and affirm who you are. This might include hobbies, spending time with supportive friends, or setting personal goals.
- Set up a Supportive Climate: Surround yourself with supportive people who understand your sentiments. A favourable climate of support can be the real difference in the recovery.
Gaslighting is one of the most powerful manipulative tools insidious persons have in their toolkits. Through it, they can greatly affect an individual’s self and sense of reality. It requires much awareness in recognising signs and understanding effects, for those who might be exposed to it can be restored and empowered once again through acknowledgement of the problem, trust in perception, and establishment of personal boundaries. Maintaining emotional health and returning to contact with inner strength is empowering.
